Am I allowed to ask? Why did you let us near them? These people
that raised you with hate and taught you nothing of how to be loved.
Why did you not walk away? Give us only sunshine and all of the
happiness that I still see your eyes yearn for. Why did you let them
into our home?
And you. You heard the stories. You had to have been there for
him when he told you some of the abuse he had endured. I know he
hasn’t ever told you all of it. But even the slightest bit of what I’ve
heard would make me keep my children the fuck
away from them.
They fooled me too though. They fooled my young innocent soul
that should have never been exposed to them. You both must have
known that the odds were against us, still you gambled with my life
and you lost.
Am I allowed to ask why you didn’t break the cycle? Why didn’t
you say not my babies? Not again. Not anymore. Step the fuck up
and be who they never were for you. Be who you needed.
Be who I needed.
You’re both checked out though and they are long gone. They left
this world before I knew I didn’t want them anymore. So the burden
sits upon me but somehow it isn’t as heavy as you’ve always made it
out to be. There is not a choice in how I will raise my kids but if
there was I would never have chosen to do what you did.