I would have liked to have known you when you were a young boy. I would have done all I could have to save you.

 

Born into a fucked up family.

Expected to win but set up to lose.

No love. No room for error.

Punches flew from the man he looked up to.

Silence was kept by the woman that should have saved him.

 

He managed to keep the truth hidden.

He would not be the one to bring shame.

Longing for his own chance to escape as he watched the older ones leave.

He imagined leaving would bring him freedom but sorrow followed them all.

He watched as one left for good, forsaking their namesake for a chance at peace.

He broke when one chose to leave this world, the pain too great to be beared.

 

As a man he filled his time with work.

That of which his parents could be proud of,

their approval still all that he longed for.

 

A beautiful wife and young children began to lighten the burden he carried.

There were good days, glimpses of joy and play.

Their love did not heal him though, as he had hoped.

 

The children soon grew,

he could not control them as he had been controlled.

His anger arose from within, hateful shouts became the punches he would throw.

Tension and fear were felt when he would walk through the door.

 

His own young ones learned to smile upon cue.

They convinced themselves all was as it should be.

They looked to their mother for help, only to be told to behave.

 

Thus the children were raised in a whirlwind of fear and longing,

the wretched cycle continuing.

He had created a fucked up world of his own.